Happy New Year everyone! Glad to be back writing this newsletter again. I have been busy offering workshops in the past few months. Also doing a lot more listening and reflecting instead of writing. And taking time to dive deeper then usual at the end of 2017 and the beginning of this year into where I want to take my work and my life going forward.
I look forward to continue to offer you e-zines that uplift and inspire you. As I feel more deeply rooted in what inspires me. These days, it is so easy to be pulled off balance with all that we hear going on in our country and the world. I hope that what I write can help you regain your balance. And create the peace you seek.
Here is an article, 2018: Less Judgment, More Peace, that can help you start this new year loving yourself a little more. And creating more peace for yourself, more joy. We all have negative voices in our heads we may not even notice. That weigh us down. Stop us from finding joy, peace, love, in the present moment. Here are some insights, strategies about how to begin to let go of some of the judgments that are weighing you down right now. So that you can move into this new year lighter, with more energy and greater satisfaction in your day to day life.
Your partner in creating more love in the world, starting with yourself,
Nancy Francisco, Certified Professional Coach
2018: Less Judgment, More Peace
This is a lovely bridge over a stream that I often walk by during the week. Hoping this article will help you bridge from 2017 to 2018 with less self-judgment and more compassion for yourself. As you begin a new year of your life and take time to reflect on the year ahead, take time to consider how 2018 can offer you more peace and self-love.
One thing I have heard as I have been listening to parents is how unsettling it is when another parent, stranger or family member criticizes their parenting. Honestly, parents need more support than they get in this world. Certainly not criticism. Especially from other parents. So here are some thoughts about how to deal with this. And take it a step further. Strengthening the love you have for yourself.
1. My guess is that people who criticize you are walking around with a lot of self-judgment whirling around all the time in their own heads. Judgment they may not even be aware of. So they are letting it spill out on you. But it probably has nothing at all to do with you. They are letting you know about how it feels to be them. If their heart was filled with compassion, they would never offer this to you.
2. But since we have no control over what others say to us sometimes, we need to focus on what we do have control over. What we tell ourselves about our parenting. What voices of judgment are whirling around in our own heads every day. Not just about our parenting, but about anything we do or don’t do “right.”
3. Let go of perfection. Life isn’t perfect. We will never be perfect parents. We all make mistakes. And will continue to. That’s part of living, breathing. Being alive. Growing. Becoming. Creating. Our own parents made mistakes when they were doing the very best that they could do. And so are you. Every day. Doing the very best you can do. And perfection isn’t what kids need. They need real parents who are parents for the long term. Loving them. Learning from them. Growing with them. Showing them their vulnerability and their strength.
4. Be OK with the present. With what is right now. It is enough. You are enough. More than enough.
5. Notice the critical voices in your head each day. What are you telling yourself that you may not even be paying attention to? If it isn’t kind, loving, than question it. Is it really true? Is it loving? In your best interest?
6. Reframe those judgmental thoughts. Turn them into thoughts of support, acknowledgment. Celebrate the things you are doing that are most important to you today. And acknowledge that you have limits. You can’t do everything. Only a few important things each day. You are doing what you can do. You are an amazing parent. Your child is so lucky to have you as their parent. And you them.
7. Be kind to yourself. Hopefully, there are many that love you in your life and show you kindness. But more than anything, you must do this for yourself. And out of this kindness for yourself, ripples out your kind compassion for others you encounter every day.
8. When you hear negative self-talk, stop. Notice it. That will give you more perspective. Distance from it. Get you unstuck from it. Don’t let it weigh you down. Drain your energy. It is an old voice that doesn’t serve you anymore. Let it go. Reframe it. Enter this new year a little lighter. A little more compassionate. A little more at peace with yourself and the world.
Your partner in creating more loving connection and peace,